Spooky Season

I wish I liked horror. Every time I hear about a good horror story I'm always disappointed cause I know I'll never see it. I'm such a chicken. They always say that your imagination fills in the gaps for your fear but I don't think that's ever been true for me. Those images are burned into my mind. Even though I never watched them, throughout my childhood I was tormented by thoughts of Chucky, the Xenomorph from Alien, and the Predator from the Predator franchise. I can think of SO many sleepless nights I spent staring into the closet cause I was sure if I closed my eyes I'd die.

My brother talked about horror a lot. It's safe to say it was his favorite genre. He tried to get me into horror a few times. Movies like The Exorcist and Sleepaway Camp. Quite the range in quality, but both were favorites of his. When I was young he would explain the lore of the horror movies he watched and I was fascinated. I was safe from all the scares while he gave me the non-gory details. He also brought the Youtube channel Red Letter Media to my attention. It's a channel that reviews current and older movies and has a lot of other comedy that I love. Over the years as they've reviewed a number of horror films and I've developed a deeper appreciation for the genre. I don't get into movies often because they end up being so shallow. They have to be to fit everything into a tighter time frame, I get it. Horror seems to be a bit different. Good horror at least. The dismantling of the character is at the root of horror. Because of that, character must be established so that there are stakes we care about in the story. Usually something we can see in ourselves through these characters (or something we don't want to imagine seeing in ourselves). The characters in the MCU work because they are more representative of themes. Aspirational themes: Courage, unity, overcoming adversity, etc. They work because we want to see these things in ourselves. We want to believe we would act the same if we were in the story. Horror is the opposite. Rather than aspire to what we want to be horror confronts us with what we're afraid to think of. It takes us to the dark corners of our minds and leaves us there. Thoughts we didn't know we could have, and now we're afraid of them.

Problem is a hate gore. Gore and jump scares. Often the metaphorical dismantling of a character is represented literally and I just can't do it. The violence is so overwhelming compared to the story being told. I can't focus because I'm just sitting there getting ready to shut my eyes. And jump scares are such bullshit. It's so easy to do. Don't get me wrong, I understand the appeal. When I was in high school I would CONSTANTLY scare a friend of mine. It was awesome! I didn't do it cause I was clever. It was easy to do and always got a big reaction. Simple. Far too simple to be the backbone of a genre.

Video games are even worse when it comes to jump scares. Because of how you interact with the medium your attention is even more focused than with a movie. It really feels like it's happening to you and that ratchets the tension up drastically. I've tried to play horror games in the past and I've NEVER been more scared. I can't do it.

The X-Files was the closest thing I ever watched to horror. Since it aired on TV I knew it would be safe from gore. Can't really get lucky like that any more. All these shows air on streaming and may as well be rated R, if not worse. It just seems so lazy to me. Sure, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I expect violence. Most of these other horror stories I'd like to experience have MORE gore than Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which just makes NO sense to me. Movie-fiends would say that it's a showcase for special effects. You don't see it as the people you see it as the effect. I just can't selectively participate in media. Either I'm into or I'm out of it. I can't be attached to a character then see them as a special effect. That sounds like what a sociopath would do. If I'm attached to a character I can't really see them another way. When they get hacked to pieces I wonder how their family will react, what will their funeral be like, will what happened to them ever be known or will they be forgotten? The violence that happens to characters is so unnecessary. There are scarier things out there than being killed or being mutilated.

I say this like I care. I would still avoid horror without the gore and violence. I know of films out there that don't rely on violence. Have I seen them? Absolutely not. I'm picky about my recreation. I want my escapism to be appealing rather than so awful it makes the real world look good. Stories that inspire me or make me laugh are infinitely more appealing than stories that get in my head and I can't get them out. I want my video games to be fun and stress relieving rather than being overproduced and stress inducing. Or scary. Any time I sat through a horror film it was usually to not seem like a chicken in front of a girl I was with. I regret EACH of those stupid movies. I don't need to impress anyone so I keep a light on and the horror off.

Horror is like crystal meth. People get into it for some reason that I'll never understand, and I just know it's not for me.